


Home and Hearth

by triseuss



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Dissociation, Dragons, F/F, Family Feels, Fluff, Homelessness, My dragonborn is done with everyone's shit, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-11-12
Packaged: 2018-03-14 13:18:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3412049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triseuss/pseuds/triseuss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She never entertained the thought of ever having a home. She never expected to be able to return to a warm hearth and people who welcomed her arrival. She never expected to have people who kept her grounded when she began to let go. Survival was hard enough without wasting time with idle daydreams of a warm hearth and welcoming company.<br/>She never dreamed she would ever have a family.<br/>When she stopped looking, her family found her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sofie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She turns toward the child who offers her a wilted blue flower with a trembling hand. She looks half-starved and not even close to being bundled for this kind of weather.
> 
>  _She’s about Lucia’s age,_ Anna realized, _and she’s far too young to know such hardships._
> 
>  
> 
> _Lydia is not going to be happy about this._

Windhelm was cold on the best of days, but once night fell the temperature plummets as the gods unleash their frozen hell. The wind sweeps through the hold, guided by high stone walls, to cut right through armor to bite at weather worn Nordic skin.

The chill is particularly brutal this night. Annalease had ridden from High Hrothgar through the night to call upon the Jarl’s cooperation. Upon entering the hold in the mid-afternoon chill, she had immediately sought out Ulfric Stormcloke. The man was stubborn, and she was sure that he would refuse to negoeate with the Empire, even long enough to deal with Alduin, but he eventually yielded to the greybeards’ summons, and Anna had removed herself from his company as soon as possible, not wanting an interrogation on her lack of Nordic loyalty.

Now, the frigid night air fills her lungs as she exits the keep. She thinks of dragon fire, and it’s brilliant warmth. The thought of using dragonfire to keep warm is welcome, but shut down quickly.  Her Th’um makes people nervous, and she would do well to enrage the guards when she needed their Jarl’s cooperation.

The evening winds ripped through the plate of her armor, drawing a curse from her lips. As much as she hated playing courier, she could not fault Balgruuf for not wanting to leave his people open for attack, even to stop the world-eater.

“Would you like to buy a flower?” _Now really, I should not be so easy to sneak up on._

She turns toward the child who offers her a wilted blue flower with a trembling hand. She looks half-starved and not even close to being bundled for this kind of weather.

When Anna doesn’t immediately reply, the child moves away to let her go on her way. Anna had seen her scurrying about during her previous visits to Windhelm, though she had always assumed the girl belonged somewhere. Now she wasn’t so sure.

“Wait!” she calls after the child, bringing her scurrying back to quickly offer up the contents of a pitiful looking basket that Anna had only just now noticed and ignored as she attempted to make herself appear less frightening to the child that held it.

“Where are your parents, little fire?”

The child shrinks back as if the words physically harmed her. She appeared visibly anxious, and for a moment Anna thinks she might not answer, which in answer enough in itself.

“My Mama died when I was little.”

“Your Da?”

“He was a stormcloak soldier, one day he left, and he didn’t come back.”

Anna nodded in understanding. In Riftan, Constance had spoken of the war creating a number of Orphans in Skyrim.

“There were so many who had nowhere to go,” she had said, “and no one willing to take them in.” Lucia had been such a case. Before Anna took her in, she had spent her days begging in the streets of Whiterun, and sleeping behind the tavern at night.

Annalease felt her heart constrict. “You have no one else?”

The girl shook her head and looked as if searching for a way to escape this conversation. She attempted to offer the basket once more in a futile attempt to change the subject.

“What’s your name?” She asks gently.

“Sofie.” She says it so softly the surrounding winds almost carry it away.

_She’s about Lucia’s age_ , Anna realized, _and she’s far too young to know such hardships._

_Lydia is not going to be happy about this, but to hell with it._

Anna cleared her throat as she knelt on the stone walkway so that she was on eyelevel with the shivering child. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Sofie.” She offered her hand in greeting, which was accepted with weary puzzlement. “I am called Annalease.”

“You look like you could go for a sweetroll.” Sofie’s eyes lit up at the prospect.

Candlehearth Hall was much warmer than the open city. Patrons crowed around the fire pit as they conversed over mead. Luaffyn played gentle flute music accompanied by the ominous howling winds just outside the tavern walls.

Anna sat them at a bench away from the majority of merrymakers, most paid them no mind, save for a [large man in iron armor](http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Stenvar) who eyed Anna with interest.

With stew for the both of them, and a large sweet roll for Sofie as promised, the duo sat and ate with comfortable idle chatter that flowed between bites. Sofie talked of the various plants that grew in and around Windhelm and was ecstatic to discover that Anna, as an Alchemist, held much coveted knowledge of said plants.

Finally, as the atmosphere of the tavern began to pick up, Ann cleared her throat and verbally relayed the thought that had plagued her all evening. “If you want, I could adopt you.”

Sofie paused, sweetrole halfway to her mouth, looking at Anna in disbelief. “Do you mean it?”

Anna nodded, a slight smile on her face. Alduin could wait, Parthonaax could wait, and the whole of Skyrim could wait. She was not leaving this child here to die in the unforgiving cold.

“I have a house in Whiterun, where I’m a Thane. You’ll be safe, and well taken care of, I promise.”

The words were bairly past her lips when a tiny body lept at her to wrap thin arms around her neck. “Thank you! I’ll be the best daughter, I promise!”

Anna beamed feeling the air warm slightly. She would take Sofie to Breezhome, where she would meet her new siblings and get settled in. The looming threat of having to call a peace conference all but forgotten for the moment. Right now, she needed to get her daughter some warm clothes for the journey home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the first thing I've written in a while. I've always imagined Windhelm to be the second coldest city in Skyrim. (Winterhold is the first.) All those tall buildings and narrow passageways seem like they would make super wind tunnels.
> 
> Also, Sofie was the third child I adopted in Skyrim. I felt so bad for her that I modded the game to be able to adopt her.


	2. Interlude: Journey to Breezhome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How?” She gestured to her face and Anna knows immediately what she’s asking.

Annalease was not pleased with the shop selection of Windhelm. Finding children’s clothes was nearly impossible, and Sofie needed at the very least a good coat and pair of shoes.

She had Sofie stay at the (Inn) and wait for her, because while she did put a stop to the murders in the hold, which by no means meant that the streets were safe. Besides, the girl had clearly not slept in a bed for the longest time, and Anna was not about to have her here, searching the market, when she could be warm, and in bed resting for their long journey to Whiterun.

Sofie had insisted she could make the journey on her own, but Anna wasn’t about to send her alone on the wagon knowing what dangers lurked on the road. Bandits were brazen enough to attack her in broad daylight, she shuddered since she knew exactly what they would do to a child.

It took all day to find a child’s coat, which was ridiculous. Every shopkeeper had weapons and armor to spare, but nothing practical for a cold child. She lingered in the market and made a few more purchases, before going to fetch Sofie from the inn and heading to the stables.

She never understood why the stables were located outside of the hold walls. The threat of dragon attacks and bandit raids increased once the hold gates were shut, it made no sense. Though, Anna was finding bandits to be more of a bother than dragons now-a-days, especially now that she could force them to land at her will.

The wagon ride was surprisingly uneventful considering how dangerous the roads were. They encountered a few [Thalmor Justiciars](http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Thalmor_Justiciar) who claimed to have important business elsewhere and refused to be delayed. Alfarinn’s idle chatter filled the air with a pleasant hum that accompanied the clopping of horse hooves and wagon wheels on the road. Sofie was delighted, having never ridded in a wagon before, and took delight in the slowly changing scenery around them.

It took Anna completely by surprise when she addressed her with a frown after studying her intently for a good while.

“How?” She gestured to her face and Anna knows immediately what she’s asking.

“Angry tame wolves.” She has many scars, but these were the first, and they serve as a reminder of the first lives she took. “I was about your age.”

Sofie waited to hear more, but Anna offered nothing else. If she still wanted to know later, when they were home and safe, Anna would tell her all she wanted to know, but now she just smiled and changed the subject to something lighter.

Finally, after nine long hours on the roads, the familiar and welcome sight of Whiterun loomed on the horizon, and all thoughts of damp cages and stale ale were forgotten for the time being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never liked how when you adopt kids they just kind of go, "Okay, see you at home!" and then travel by themselves to the player home on roads filled with wolves, bandits and dragons.
> 
> I'm also kind of a mother hen, so I like the idea of being able to dress your kids in game for the harsh weather of Skyrim. There is a mod for it, but I haven't gotten it since it requires DLC to work.
> 
> I'm not very happy with this chapter, so it might change in the future.


	3. Lucia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "She just showed up one day, and no one can afford to take her in.”

The call of the Greybeards could he heard reverberating all throughout Tameral. It bounced off of the simple buildings of Whiterun until it reached Dragonsreach and its inhabitants. After what happened at the west watchtower, Jairl Bulgruf was sure they were calling for her, but she still had her doubts. There hadn’t been a dragonborn in years, and up until recently she had been a simple wonderer and occasional mercenary.

The Jairl had insisted upon it though, and ordered preparations be made for the journey. That meant running around the hold doing various odd jobs for the residence and taking any work she could find.

Not that she could complain though. It had been a long time since Ana could say she felt fairly comfortable enough to stay in any one given place. If the Battleborns and Grey-mains could ever sort out their differences, Whiterun would be a downright pleasant place to settle for a while.

~

Jairl Bulgruf cornered her in the stairway of Dragon’s Reach. The Jair’s sudden presence had her almost dropping her charge as she reached for the great war axe strapped to her back. Her fingers had barely brushed the soft’ leather wrapped handle before her thoughts caught up with her actions enough to realize that striking the man down was a decidedly poor choice of actions.

The Jairl paid no mind to her weary actions, and instead waited until she faced him proper to relay his words.

“You know, I have room in my court for a new Thane.” He attempted a casual tone, but the effect was lost with the pointed look he fixed her with, “You’ve helped my people, and I hear that you’re planning to call this hold your home.”

Ana shrugged, figuring that elbowing the Jairl of Whiterun in the ribs was also not a good idea, though she did manage to convey her annoyance with a huff of air as she attempted to make her escape. While she carried a passive respect for the man, she had no intention of playing nursemaid to his whimsical ideas.

Bulgruff chuckled and clapped her shoulder as she tried her best not to flinch as the sudden to touch. “Since you’re going to see Proventus anyway, be sure to ask him to find you a house.”

With a final pat of her shoulder, he departed and left her to make her delivery. After a moment of hesitation, she heard him call “See that you go through with the purchase, I’d be honored to call you Thane.”

~

As Anna nearly jumps the last landing of steps in her hurry to flee, she tosses the Jairl’s words around in her mind.

_“You know, I have room in my court for a new Thane.”_

The man’s tone had held fondness has he suggested she think it over. He had clasped a reassuring hand to her shoulder when she turned to leave.

_“I’d be honored to call you Thane.”_

There is a great white tree struggling to thrive just near Dragonsreach. It’s as good a place as any to contemplate how this had become her life. It was almost poetic in a way. The tree’s great branches seek to pierce through the thick fog of clouds, and overreach its tight confinement to breach the presence of bright sunlight, even as its form betrays it and slowly rots away.

_I should leave,_ she thought, bitterly, _before the other shoe can drop._

She could go to another hold where no one knew who she was. Start over again. She had let herself become too comfortable. The Jairl was convinced that she was the one the Graybeards summoned to their mountain fortress, and now he wanted her to take the title of Thain. All because she had killed _one_ dragon.

_I have enough now, I can get a few supplies and go north to the icy mountains of Winterhold. Surly the Mage College wouldn’t believe in such nonsense as-_

“Could you spare a coin?” The sudden appearance of a young girl to her right almost startled her as much as the Jairl’s in Dragons Reach.

She turned to regard the Imperial child with mild interest.

Clearly the child was either Orphaned or Abandoned. Compared to the other children she had seen in the Hold, she was weather worn in a way that suggested more than just childhood exposure. Her thin clothing hung off of her small frame and seemed to emphasize her sunken features. Her shoes had defiantly seen better days.

_Surely there is some kind soul who would be willing to take her in?_

Ana handed over the septims in her pockets and watched as the child stammered out her thanks and ran off as if Ana might have changed her mind.

~

She had put the encounter out of her mind until later while she was helping Adrianne shovel coal into the forge. Since the Imperials were withholding their patronage to Eorlund Gray-Mane, Warmaiden's was swamped with the Imperial weapon orders and Adrianne was on edge due to the strain. It wasn't that she couldn't handle the high demand, but the Imperial scouts wanted everything on an impossible deadline and continued to badger her no matter how much she tried to reason with them.

She wasn’t sure how it happened, but somewhere between smithy lessons and deliveries, Ana had befriended the blacksmith she had met upon first entering the hold.

Adrianne was a practical woman if nothing else. While Analease did odd jobs to raise funds for better weapons and armor, Adrianne allowed her to sleep in the spare bed above her shop in exchange for an extra set of hands every now and then, since being the only blacksmith in the area kept her busy.

As they worked, Ana spoke of her hesitation to become a resident of Whiterun, leaving out much of the panic that came with it. Adrianne impatiently brushed off her concerned with her clipped response.

"Power is never something to be brushed off simply because it makes you uncomfortable," She snapped with clear disapproval, "As a Thane you would hold influence in the hold, something that could be quite useful to  _you_  especially."

"To me especially?" She stopped shoveling as realization dawned on her. She had known that she was the [stewart's](http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Proventus_Avenicci) daughter, but she couldn't have...

"You wouldn't have had anything to do with the Jarl's sudden offer, would you Adrianne?"

The Imperial woman paused her work momentary to roll her eyes at the supposed dragon-born like she was missing something obvious.

"You think all the counsel my father provides the Jarl is his alone?" She huffed and turned back to the forge, "Let's just say I advise the advisor, and leave it at that."

Anna gaped in silence until Adriana was snapping at her to get working on sharpening the newly forged steal. Neither of them said a word until the overcast sun had almost disappeared from the sky and Anna finally slumped in defeat under the disapproving glances the blacksmith kept throwing her way.

“If I bought a house I’d have to start over with my supply funds.”

To her credit, the woman tried her best not to look smug.

“You were not given a deadline for your quest,” The smithy replied, “The greybeards have existed for centuries, they can wait another month.”

It wasn’t until later when she was helping to close the shop did Ana think to her encounter with the child in the street.

“The little girl begging for septims by the great tree?”

Ana nodded and shut the door to the forge so the heat would smother inside.

“That’s Lucia.” Adrianne began to clean the workbench that had grown slippery with accumulated soot. “She just showed up one day, and no one can afford to take her in.”

It wasn't so hard to believe. With Skyrim locked in civil war, the average life expectancy for the Nords had dropped substantially over the years. She wouldn't be surprised if there were more orphans living on the streets these days with no one willing to take them in.Her mind filled dangerously with images she hadn’t thought of in years.

_The pure terror of finding oneself abandoned at such a young age in a world that expected you to spring from the womb, running and brandishing a weapon to defend yourself. Then the unstoppable pain of frostbight on tiny fingers as they attempted to lift a few coins unnoticed from the purse of an unaware noble, as you pray for the small luxuries of a kindness from strangers that look on you with contempt. Running for all your worth when the city guards finally catch you digging through a vegetable basket while the vendor’s back is turned. Having to sleep outside the city gates that night, or worse, the tunnels underneath, for fear of being caught._

No, the life of an orphaned child in Tameral was not an easy one. The weak did not survive it, and the strong had to learn how to quickly adapt and grow.

 

She returned to Dragons Reach the next day.

~

The house itself was simple with one main room and a loft with separate spaces for Lidia and herself as well as plenty of space for supplied and provisions. A large hearth took up the majority of the main room that did a wonderful job of warming the house. There was even an empty side room off of the main room ready to be turned into an alchemy lab if she so wished for it.

_The house hadn’t cost all that much_ , she reasoned,  _and I have grown to love Whiterun._

She might as well call it home.

~

“You’re far too young to be out on your own.”

Lucia visibly

She hadn’t meant to startle the girl. From her place on the bench, she was shadowed just enough to be overlooked by most passing people. To Lucia, being distracted her counting, she was almost invisible.

“You’re that lady from the other day.” Her expression became notably brighter with the realization, “Bless your kind heart.”

_I don’t know what to say to that._

Lucia shrugged. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

_I don’t know what to say to that either._

At her silence, Lucia returned to her counting.

Ana hadn’t felt the chill of desperation since her fiery escape from Helgan. Now it crawled up her spine as she grasped at any fleeting thought to how she might alleviate this child’s plight. In Lucia’s place, all she could see was herself at that age, stranded in the streets of Solstheim

The sudden empathy grabbed her by the throat to the point she had to swallow the lump of emotion before it had the chance to suffocate her.

She found herself standing before Lucia with a tentative smile she hoped came across as friendly. She offered her hand to the confused child and found the words leaving her lips before she could think about them.

“What would you say to a nice, warm meal at The Bannered Mare”

She was oddly relieved when Lucia cautiously took her hand in acceptance.

~

“You’re the one the greybeards are calling?”

She nodded in affirmation, “I suppose I am.”

“You killed the dragon?”

She nodded again, and watched the young girls face light up.

“I bet you’ve been lots of places!”

Ana hummed in reply.

They sat on a bench in The Bannered Mare for hours as Ana tried her best to state the girl’s curiosity. Truthfully, she didn’t know that much of the Tamreal, but she knew land and its stories, so she drew upon them as Lucia asked her question after question. Lucia was a very bright and inquisitive young girl.

Ana learned of how Lucia came to be in her situation. As it turns out, she had been right on both accounts. Lucia had been orphaned and turned over to her only surviving family, only to be tossed into the streets when the people couldn’t care for her.

As the sky began to bleed from the evening hues to the darker tones of night, and the heavy warmth of Nord mead settled into her bones, Ana found herself spinning wild tales about the various creatures that inhabited Skyrim’s wastes, simply to hear the delightful laughter they brought from the young girl.

Then Lucia grew quiet and seemed to draw into herself. Just when Ana grew concerned as to if she might have said something to make the child uncomfortable, Lucia’s head snapped up to pear into Ana’s eyes with a wild desperation she knew all to well.

 “You could be my mother!” she blurted, and immediately looked ashamed as if Ana would find the idea completely ridiculous. If she were honest, the idea was ludicrous. She didn’t know the first thing about raising a child and she would be leaving for High Hrothgar soon. She couldn’t adopt the girl just to abandon her again.  _That’s probably what the people of Whiterun told themselves when she first turned up,_ She thought,  _cast out by her own people and utterly alone._

 “I’m not sure that’s such a great idea.” Ana threw her hands up as if she could physically block the child’s plea.

It was a terrible idea by all accounts, but some of her worse ideas had worked out just fine in the past.

_No,_ her mind provided, _I can barely take care of myself as it is._

“I won’t cause any trouble, honest,” Lucia suddenly grasped her arm as if to physically convey her plea, “I’ll work real hard and be the best daughter ever!”

“I’m not exactly the best person to be influencing a child.”

Lucia’s shoulders slumped as she released her grasp on the loose fabric surrounding Ana’s wrist. She looked crestfallen, as if Ana had crushed every hope and passing dream she had ever had in her short years, and she found herself wanting nothing more than to bring back the bright delight that had occupied the girl’s eyes previously. In the end, that’s what made her mind.

“I can’t promise that I’d be the best parent, since I don’t have much experience to work with, but-”

“Do you really mean it?” Lucia didn’t even wait until the words left her mouth before she latched on with hope.

Ana nodded slowly. Yes, she did.

She pretended not to notice the happy tears that bloomed in the child’s eyes as she latched onto Ana once more, this time throwing her arms around her middle in a full body embrace. With little luck, she attempted to push down the sudden burst of warmth in her chest as the ambient noise of the tavern rose once more to full volume.

She hadn’t even noticed the quiet.

~

The next morning, she had Provintis Avenchi convert the side room in her home into Lucia’s new bedroom.

Bulgruf once again caught her on the stairwell as she was leaving.

"I've heard that you've chosen to call Whiterun your home." The Jarl, seemingly pleased with this news, clapped his hands as she nodded her affirmation. 

"Then by my right as Jarl, I name you Thane of my hold!" 

When she returned to Breezhome after a day of running errands all over town, she found Adrianne waiting for her out front of the house speaking quietly to Lucia. As she approached, Lucia caught sight of her and ran to meet her half way, bubbling excitedly about the house. Lydia had yet to move in, so the girl had had the whole place to herself all day.

Adrianne clapped her on the shoulder when she approached. “I like you, you get things done.”

“I figured you would go and do something like this.” Adrianne continued, “So I thought you could use this.” And without warning, she tossed a large sack that Ana hadn’t noticed before unceremoniously into her arms.

"It's not Ebony, but it'll keep you warm on the mountain slope."

Confused, Ana hurriedly opened the sack to find a full set of armor. It was beautifully crafted with sculpted leather and lined with fur to keep the wearer warm in the harsh Nordic climate. Adrianne had made her armor. She was swamped with weapon orders, and she took time away from her shop to craft custom armor to keep Ana safe on her journey to High Hrothgar. 

She had never had a friend before, but if she had to guess, she was sure that this was what having one felt like.

"Thank you." She whispered, feeling the mist behind her eyes well up.

Adrianne shot her a knowing look before turning on her heel back to her shop.

As Ana turned to enter her new home, Lucia rushed forward to entwine their hands.

“Mama!” The sudden title confused her for a moment, but did not seem to faze the child. “Did you see the tree in the center of town today? I think it’s starting to bloom!”

Ana thought so too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, so Lucia was the first child I adopted, and I bought Breezhome just so I could adopt her. That's how sad she made me. So because I couldn't just adopt her outright, I imagine that it took a while before my dragonborn could even come to terms with the idea of being an actual parent enough to adopt her, so Lucia had to ask.
> 
> I like to think of Bulgruf as being such a dad. He'll make dad jokes while descussing the best way to break someones arms and sever their heads from their bodies. I know you become Thaine of whiterun before you purchase a home, but I also like the idea of Bulgruf sort of encouraging my dragonborn to take root in whiterun rather than simply passing through all the time.
> 
> Geez, It's been so long since I've written anything but academic papers. Everything is a bit choppy because I sort of forced myself to flesh it out a bit, so it's bound to change after a while to flow better. I'm awful when it comes to transitions.
> 
> Also to help with the mood and other bits while I'm writing, I made a playlist for this story. Then I though that it might also help with reading the story, so I posted it on 8tracks. You can find it here: http://8tracks.com/dayminder/home-and-hearth


End file.
